Kevin, upset driver
What is it with all these people who have to slow down and almost stop every time they drive by a goddamned car accident? Don’t you understand that if you take 3 seconds before hitting the accelerator after the car in front of you – as opposed to one second – that there will be a backup THREE TIMES AS LONG BEHIND YOU?!?!?!?
Don’t try to pretend that you’re checking to see if they need help either – the flashing lights and dozens of other cars make it perfectly clear that you don’t need to stop. Just fucking DRIVE!
My recommendation is this – For all of you assholes out there who absolutely have to watch every time you drive by a car accident, hoping to see some good gore, do the following:
1) Rent Faces of Death I, II, and III
2) Pack a bag lunch and go down to your local emergency room. Make a day of it, and bring a fucking picnic blanket. Go from room to room munching on Doritos and commenting on how much it’s gotta hurt, pointing and gawking at all the injured and maimed people who come in. And then, finally…
3) DRIVE.
Rantasaurus Says: You haven’t seen gore until you’ve seen me just ravage some rubberneckers straight through their sunroof. I hate those traffic mongers as much as the next guy.
