Jeff, your friendly neighborhood dealer
One of the great myths about Las Vegas is that prostitution is legal here. Let me assure you, it’s not. That still doesn’t explain why you can let your fingers do the walking and order a hooker directly from the Yellow Pages. “Alright sir, I’ve got a large pepperoni and a blow job. Be about forty minutes.” They can be found under “Entertainers” in the phone book.
Of course they’re not listed as prostitutes. They are “Full Service Hostesses,” or “Exotic Dancers,” and my personal favorite, the ever popular “Strip-O-Gram.” Naturally I have never availed myself the services of any of these perpetrators of pleasure. I did however, meet two young ladies when they came south from Reno in search of employment. I had taken a break from dealing some years ago and drove a limo for about six months.
I picked up Jasmine and Rosebud at the airport after the Mustang Ranch was closed down due to some tax troubles. The girls were “laid off” as it were, and decided to come to Vegas to ply their trade. But these Ladies of the Evening, Morning, and Afternoon found they didn’t have enough ready cash for their own full page “spread” in the phone book so they took the low road. But they were high class. Instead of walking the Fremont Street corridor and enjoying the company of two dollar blackjack players at ten bucks a crack, they bathed themselves in the lights of Caesar’s Palace and The Mirage searching for the elusive five dollar high rollers.
After a few weeks of battling the competition and two arrests, the girls went into private practice by tacking a flyer to the bulletin board of a local YMCA. The girls began entertaining their clients in the back of my limo as I drove the streets and highways of Sin City, taking extra care to avoid all speed bumps, curbs, and Taco Bell drive-thru’s.
The hardest part of course, was trying to drive from the back seat.
Rantasaurus Says: It’s a brilliant idea. Two rides at the exact same time.
