Noel, a doctor… really
I just love modern advertising campaigns, especially those commercials for the latest life improving pharmaceuticals. They are always so informative and filled with common sense: “Until you know how Lunesta will affect you, don’t drive or operate machinery.” I guess that means it’s good to wait until AFTER you start falling asleep to jump in the car and drive over to your local machine shop to play with the lathe and drill press at midnight.
But there are no better ads than those for erectile dysfunction medications. Those 21st century marriage savers are indeed miraculous, but watch out because “side effects may include a delayed backache.” Why didn’t I think of that? The poor bastard is finally able to have sex for the first time since 1985 and now he has a backache. Einstein would be proud.
You should also “stop taking Viagra if you experience a sudden decrease in vision.” I guess that would explain the backache since our hero has now fucked until he was blind.
And don’t forget to “seek immediate medical attention if you experience an erection lasting longer than four hours.” I can hear the alarm clocks going off all over America. “Wait a second honey it’s three o’clock, where’d you put the damn car keys? Let’s go, move it! Holy crap you can’t find them? Where’s your purse, I need cab fare to the hospital!” How would you like to be the doctor on-call for that little emergency room visit? “What seems to be the problem Mr. Smith?” “Oh…I see…well I’m very happy to see you too!” I wonder what the treatment for an erection in over-time is, since the traditional antidote has obviously failed to provide relief, but I suppose there’s no harm in trying it again.
I can hear the announcement now: “This is Dr. Fine. Will the head nurse please report to exam room #1….”
Rantasaurus Says: I don’t mind it that much. Whenever that happens to me, it’s like I’ve pitched myself a mansion to live in for the evening.
