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Archive for July, 2007

Rantsplosion Results!

We have your Rantsplosion winners!
Look at you, on the edge of your seat. In a last minute crowd decision, we have a winner!
Watch the video to see the top three runners compete… and who ends up winning. Rant text will be posted for your enjoyment tomorrow.

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To the newly-preggers new employee,
You must think that everyone in this office is a complete idiot. We all know the gestation period for a human fetus and can all do the math. We all know that you got knocked up the same week you started working here. Batting your eyelashes and acting [...]

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Submit, submit, submit by 5 o’clock (Pacific) to enter the Rantsplosion.
Theme: horrible restaurant experiences!

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Emma, editor extraordinaire
A scientifical fact that I have just made up with my mighty robot powered brain is that there is a direct correlation between how much work I have to do and how much enthusiasm I have to do it. The more work I have, the more I want to do anything else other [...]

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A fond hello to all of our 3QuarksDaily readers!
Tyrantasaurus

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That’s right, this month’s Rantsplosion contest ends on Monday!
You’ve only got three more days to give me your most horrifying, embarrasing or downright ridiculous stories about: audacious restaurant experiences.
We’ve all got one! Head over to the Submitasaurus page to share yours!

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Dear America,
I want to live in a country where women and men wear robes that cover all that bulging flesh. Here is a list of things that are not attractive to see when you’re walking down the street, sitting in a restaurant, shopping in the grocery store, etc.

Butt crack. No one is so [...]

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Your disillusioned co-worker
So you claim to have developed some self-awareness finally.
Too bad you didn’t have any when you got mad at an innocent remark. You claim not to hold grudges, but you certainly blew it up to epic proportions.
Too bad you didn’t have any when you decided to get involved in a situation that [...]

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These past two days, Rantasaurus has been wavering between #40 and #60 most popular English language site on WordPress.com, our gracious host and software provider.
Site That Shall Not Be Named is firmly planted at #2. Watch out, Cheezburger, here we come!
Thanks again, to everybody who’s new to the ‘Saurus, and all those old, die-hard Rantasaurus [...]

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Dear Mister Finch,
I do remember with distinct clarity the day you appeared upon my window sill. It was the last hard rain of April, a brilliant full-arc rainbow materialized upon the verdant green hills surrounding my home, then, as if from some romantic line of poetry or sweet lyric from a song, you landed outside [...]

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Dear MySpace world,
I am posting this because I am absolutely disgusted, and I believe that you should know. I don’t care if you think I’m a terrible person, but I think that this is absolutely horrible.
I saw a bulletin headed “girl raped in [my city]….” and was instantly worried. Was it true? Of course it [...]

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Here at Rantasaurus Rex, we were thrilled to roll out of bed (late) and discover that we were today’s Yahoo!Pick.
A big, hearty welcome to all of our new Yahoo readers!
There’s no better way to get started at Rantasaurus, than to enter our Rantsplosion contest!
This month’s competition for the best, funniest rant ends next Monday and [...]

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I found this note stabbed into my dog Hagrid’s crate this morning. Apparently my cat Ellacution likes the jumbo butcher knife.
Hagrid — you’re a louse ridden slimebag. You’re a shithead. You come tromping in the house, bouncing around, flinging that monstrosity you call a tail everywhere. Tail whore.
It isn’t enough you have [...]

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Amy, would rather watch “Hey Paula”
So, you see all this shit about Victoria Beckham on TV and the Internet? She’s the one who was “Posh Spice” in the Spice Girls (back in the day), married David Beckham, the soccer star…Well, they are giving her her own TV show, “Coming to America” and they’re blowing [...]

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Dear Guy Who Blatantly Looked Over the Urinal Wall at my Junk:
What the fuck dude. What the fuck? Where do I begin with your flagrant breaches of sober urinal etiquette?
There’s the fact that you chose the one right next to me, completely ignoring the row of empty urinals. That in itself is [...]

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