Dear guy with the blinged and chromed out green Tahoe:
Can I ask you a question?
How big is your brain?
The reason I’m asking is because you obviously don’t know how to take a hint that you’re not wanted on my street.
I am insanely sick and tired of you driving less than a block to visit my other stupid neighbor. You park your ridiculously large SUV in their parking lot, open the doors, and play your music so loud that the windows in my apartment shake. And I’m across the street.
My fiance and I have tried to be polite. We go across the street and ask you nicely to turn it down. You must be deaf from listening to your music so loud, because you turn it down for about .05 seconds, and by the time we go back inside, there it is again – the BOOMBOOMBOOMCHICKABOOMBOOM. Other neighbors have asked you to turn it down as well. You ignore their requests as well.
I call the police every time you show up. Most of the time, you end up leaving before they show up. However, the past few times you have been confronted by a police officer. You must think they sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher because you are deaf as a railroad post. An intelligent person would eventually get the hint that no one wants you around, but you keep coming over. Your friend must have a teensy brain too, because they keep inviting you over.
If this keeps up I will have to take evasive action. This is your final warning. I will take my Scion xB, which has a pretty impressive stereo system all its own, drive down to your place, and start playing my stereo in front of your house. Trust me, you haven’t expanded your musical boundaries nearly enough. How about some Robyn Hitchcock in your window at 2 a.m., some Sex Pistols at 5 a.m., and to wrap things up, I’ll toss in some Tom Jones at 8 a.m. for that Welsh wake-up call.
What’s new, pussycat,
Karen
i bet he will “often dream of trains”
why isn’t robyn hitchcock more famous? it seems unfair. i like the crack about musical boundaries.
I had a similar experience a few years ago. It’s not that I didn’t like the music. I did. It totally made me want to drop it like it was hot. However, the vibrations shook my tiny apartment so strongly, that one night, a glass of red wine nearly fell from it’s perch. It was my favorite wine glass. I still have one remaining glass from the set. It was decent wine. Just the idea that the glass could have broken and wine could have splashed on my walls and books made me take action.
I egged the car from my patio every time the I could hear the stereo. I spent a lot of money on eggs that summer and I developed shoulder problems like a Major League Baseball player, but it was worth it. Especially the time he decided to get out of the car. The fool.
Mist 1 – Would you mind if I used that egg idea myself?
I have a CD of Scottish Bagpipe Music I’d be happy to lend ya.