Dear Bastard Neighbor Number One,
That was our tree. Not your tree. OUR TREE. Which means that cutting it down while my parents are at the beach and I’m in Africa makes you the biggest possible bastard neighbor ever. Bastard.
Love, L.
Dear Bastard Neighbor Number Two,
Why the hell won’t you invite me to swim in your pool? Even as a kid, you never invited us over. If I had a pool, I would invite you to swim in it. This summer, I’m going to swim in your pool. And then I’m going to pee in it. Take that. Bastard.
Love, L.
Clearly you need to cut some of your neigbours shit down. Like maybe his roses, or his shed.
Also, dumping a load in the pool would be funnier, cos then they’d know.
I dumped one in your sister’s mouth.