Dear Guy Who Blatantly Looked Over the Urinal Wall at my Junk:
What the fuck dude. What the fuck? Where do I begin with your flagrant breaches of sober urinal etiquette?
There’s the fact that you chose the one right next to me, completely ignoring the row of empty urinals. That in itself is punishable by some sort of fine somewhere in the world. Are you aware that these procedures are in place for a reason? Have you no regard for the threat of stage fright? Had I not been mid-stream, things could have potentially gotten ugly.
Then there’s your inexcusable approach. I’ll grant that sometimes mistakes are made, eyes wander, curiousity is piqued. However, you do NOT poke your head right over the goddamn wall upon initial approach to the urinal. Nor do you then make eye contact and smile.
Maybe you were just being friendly, I don’t know, but I’m sure there are better venues for that. For example, ones where my dick isn’t hanging out releasing that morning’s latte. Hey, maybe you’re into that sort of thing, if so, good for you, congratulations, that shit is hot, whatever.
Keep in mind that I’m not. One time some big lady sat on me on a bus, and yet somehow this was less comfortable.
Sam
In the words of George Costanza “Was I not supposed to do that?”
Poor Sam. He’s now suffering from PTSD.