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Archive for July, 2007

Chickens,
Grow some fucking balls. Stop dying. Stop wandering off you stupid little bastards.
I feed the morons, I clean out their fucking house, which cost me £350. I give them the finest table scraps, tins of value sweetcorn from Facist-Mart, potatoes, mash, corn… I even bought them a bloody sausage roll the other day. That’s right [...]

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Dear Barbara:
I can’t quite figure out why you were hired or how you even got through college. If you ask me one more time how to copy a file from a disk to a hard drive, or how to find something on the server, I’m going to scream loudly and obscenely, regardless of my [...]

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Here at Rantasaurus we run on Submissions.
Every once in a while, our mailbox runs low on rants. Help us sleep at night and replenish us with your ranty goodness. Find out how on the Submitasaurus page.
Don’t forget, our Rantsplosion contest ends in very early August and the theme is: Eating Out / Bad Restaurant Experiences
Everybody [...]

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Dear Bastard Neighbor Number One,
That was our tree. Not your tree. OUR TREE. Which means that cutting it down while my parents are at the beach and I’m in Africa makes you the biggest possible bastard neighbor ever. Bastard.
Love, L.
Dear Bastard Neighbor Number Two,
Why the hell won’t you invite me to swim in your pool? [...]

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Dear Drug Dealer Downstairs,
Could you put some kind of embargo on our building? I would feel much safer if you told your clients to stear clear of my humble abode. Feel free to tell them my dog is rabid, or I am an officer of the law, or that we kidnap homeless people and perform [...]

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BoggyWoggy, don’t mess with our doggies
We have 3 large dogs. We live outside city limits in a neighborhood of 1/3 acre-plus sized lots.
One night, while out dining on our deck with guests, our next-door neighbor showed up with some contraption he’d purchased on the Internet. In front of our guests, he explained that our barking [...]

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Dearest Ranty-rex,
I have a dying need to express my feelings about my scummy apartment complex, as well as my trailer trash converted, now apartment-renting neighbors. I love how they take every opportunity to call the landlord or the police to alert them to the tinest annoyance… coming from my apartment OF COURSE!!!!!!
Do these morons ever [...]

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Okay, now that we finally have some Rantsploding done, let’s go ahead and announce the contest that will end on August 6th at 5 p.m.
The theme: Eating Out
The restaurant kind, not the… um… other kind.
If you’ve got a make-your-skin-crawl restaurant experience, or if you’ve got a rant to share on any subject at all, head [...]

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Catherinette Singleton, TWO TIME RANTSPLOSION WINNER! Stop it, you minx!
I live in a nice little house, in a nice little neighborhood, next door to a family that belongs in a van down by the river. At first, I thought them merely a little off, now, I want to beat them with hammers whenever I [...]

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Dear Mr. Crack Addict,
I know I live in University accommodation with poor security, and if one of
my drunk flatmates is too inebriated to lock the door behind them, please
feel free to use our facilities. We do after all have working toilets and
showers, not to mention all that aluminum foil.
All I ask in return is [...]

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BAM! After a week of being horrible, ugly, disgusting, bad-at-updating people, we’re coming atcha with a winner and a runner up for the impossibly long Rantsplosion contest about neighbors.
Stay tuned for those two magnificent individuals right about…. NOW!

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J, on to the bullshit and not too happy
I recently left a job where I had to deal with one of the most passive aggressive people I’d ever met.
From the moment I walked in the door, this woman was determined not to like me. Unfortunately, I’m a bit slow sometimes and it took me [...]

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Call it birthday laziness, call it too much sushi and chocolate cake last night (OMG)… but today’s rant will consist of me comment whoring myself out. Happy birthday to me!
Leave some love for your favorite dinosaur-befriending webmaster!

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Ashleigh, about to turn into Dr. Pain
So, I’m in a PhD program. Good for me and whatnot. I’m not a snob, I promise. However, there are a few things that I expect from academicians and they are NOT delivering. Really, it wouldn’t be so bad if it just wasn’t so completely relentless, but apparently [...]

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Tyrantasaurus, a bad person
God, don’t you just hate it when stupid rant website operators skip and a day and you’re just like, nuh-uh, whatever, I didn’t want to read any rants today anyway, dumb ho.
Well that’s what it was like yesterday at Rantasaurus. This dumb ho, Tyrantasaurus, totally rolled out of bed without updating and [...]

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