We’ve gotten some good search engine results lately. Things someone typed to get here:
“a blowjob in las vegas airport”
“hate letters to a cheating wife”
“what are hookers listed as under the phone book”
“pills to make you horny for women”
Dear searcher for horny, pilled-up women… on the same day, we got several searches for “will Lunesta make you horny?” so you may want to try that. – Dr. Rantasaurus
“annoying bob furniture death” (HAHAHAHA! Someone else agrees with J.P.)
Dear Bob furniture death-wishers… someone also recently searched for “bob furnitures wife” so he may get his yet. Looks like someone is planning to swoop in.
“funny,laughing,farting cat pictures”
“shit in underwear date stomach”
“how to decorate a trailer apartment”
Step 1. Get out of denial. I don’t know if they actually count as… an apartment. An apartment on wheels, maybe?
“burn victim drinking and driving”
“buy scissors to trim hairy back”
Uh, oh… Bob the Furniture Guy has been surfing again.
“buck teeth and lazy eye”
If you’re not finding what you want with that search, try “bob furnitures wife.”
“monster made of candy”
You know, some people have called me a monster. Other people have called me sweet as candy. So…. heeeeeeeello!
“apology letters from drinking to much and vomiting everywhere bad”
“naughtyoldladies.com”
“cheese binds me”
“farting flatmates from hell”
“ways to scare people in their sleep”
“men drink women spit and pee”
I’m a little unclear on the grammar. Was that supposed to be “men drink. women spit and pee.” Or… “men drink women, spit and pee?”
“my junk was hanging out”
And my personal favorite: “nice looking chastity belt”
No, I’m not gonna let you have it! I’ll just dress it up real nice-like and tease you with it!
I love “men drink women spit and pee”. That’s had me laughing for the past five minutes.
Thanks for the shout out! Now I know to include interesting googlable phrases in my future rants!
out of curiosity, what was the result of that vegas airport search?