Amy, spider warrior
IRXVII: a spider demon tried to kill me last night
IRXVII : THREE TIMES
IRXVII: first, i was at my desk on the computer
IRXVII: all depressed
IRXVII: and the bastard tried to latch onto my arm
IRXVII: to suck the life out of me
IRXVII: good thing my chair has wheels, i was able to throw myself away from the desk in time
IRXVII: so it scurried away to the abyss
IRXVII: then, im on my bed on the phone..
IRXVII: maybe half an hour tops after the desk incident
IRXVII: and there it was
IRXVII: stalking me from above
IRXVII: so i do what any normal person would
IRXVII: when they are being stalked by a dark specimen
IRXVII : i grab a tuna can
IRXVII: (or three, in a box)
IRXVII : and slam it onto the wall, where it was resting
IRXVII: but aha, the douche is quicker than i thought
IRXVII: and teleported from the wall to the ceiling in a split second
IRXVII : i miss, and drop the can SCREAMING
IRXVII: the person on the phone is amused..
IRXVII: spider falls to its doom (my floor)
IRXVII: or more like LEAPED
IRXVII: because it crawled up my wall
IRXVII: again
IRXVII: so i see it crawl up my wall, and i promptly put the phone down, and look for the tuna
IRXVII: couldnt find the tuna, so i grab the next best thing: air freshener
IRXVII : i figure, something so evil can’t resist the mighty powers of cleanliness
IRXVII: in a can
IRXVII: so there i am…balancing on one foot on the corner of my bed (i pulled the bed about 3 ft from the wall)
IRXVII: spraying the devil with the air freshener
IRXVII : and it STILL was moving
IRXVII: so i continue spraying a while….
IRXVII: then find the can o tuna box
IRXVII: and smoosh the fuck out of it
IRXVII: three times i slam the can on the wall
IRXVII : then i held it against the wall and rubbed it in for good luck
IRXVII: i proceed to throw the can out of my window, yelling “SPAWN OF SATAN!!”
IRXVII: then finish my conversation
IRXVII: /end rant
Monica: XD
Monica: did that really happen?
IRXVII: yes.
IRXVII: there is a stain on my wall from the air freshener streaming down it
Monica: XD
Rantasaurus Says: One time I threw something at a spider and it went through my wall, through my neighbor’s cat (sorry Mittens) and through my neighbor’s bathroom…. and the things I saw in there… well… let’s say I use bug spray now.
OH, my! What a story!
I thknk the air freshener was a much better choice over bug spray! When you were done with the murder, the room had a fresh, spring scent! If you’d used bug spray…, well, let’s just say you’d be sleeping on the couch that night.
Yeah.. I would have had to sleep on the couch. I’ve had quite a few scary spider incidents since then, but none as memorable as that one.